A Place to Call Home

8 Jul

NEWSFLASH!

CBC News is reporting that as innumerable Conservative scandals became public in the month of May, Stephen Harper, leader of Canada’s Foundling Party, quietly applied to 21 nations for political asylum.

According to recordings obtained via an unnamed source within the U. S. National Security Agency, Mr. Harper told a trusted advisor he suddenly felt “like an unwelcome stranger within my own kingdom. I just can’t believe there are those in the Conservative Party who act without my permission, who say things publicly that I did not approve. This is not the autocracy I signed up for.”

The news network further reports that Mr. Harper’s plea for asylum outside Canada fell largely on deaf ears. When President Obama was informed of the unusual request, he apparently laughed out loud and said, “That’ll be the day.”

On a more positive note, President Nicolas Maduro said Venezuela would welcome anyone, even a clinical sociopath, who is oppressed by the repugnant imperialistic pipeline policies of the capitalist lapdogs in the United States.

Benjamin Netanyahu was conditionally positive, but indicated that his State would consider the application only if Harper promised John Baird would never set foot in Israel again.

Most other countries turned down the asylum request because, as they put it, “Mr. Harper categorically refused to say please.”

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One Response to “A Place to Call Home”

  1. anonymous 9 July 2013 at 4:45 am #

    Harper should go to Venezuela – no extradition treaty.

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