Squeaky clean Conservatives

6 May

Little noticed amid the hoopla surrounding Stephen Harper’s announcement of new dollars for clean energy initiatives last week was Heritage Minister James Moore’s corresponding promise of significant funding for clean heritage projects.

The following are excerpts from Moore’s formal announcement:

“Winston Churchill once said, ‘History is written by the victors.’”

“As Canada’s natural victorious party, we Conservatives have unilaterally decided to launch a much overdue re-examination of Canada’s historical record.”

“To date our blue ribbon panel, headed by illustrious Alberta historian Ted Byfield, has been able to review Ontario’s Grade Five social studies lesson plans. Mr. Byfield, you may recall, recently edited the triumphal revisionist series called The Christians: Their First Two Thousand Years.”

“As we suspected, the news is grim.”

“Shockingly, school lesson plans contain little about Canada’s geography as the world was created some 6,000 years ago. Nor is it possible for our children to learn about pivotal events such as the radical 1960s embrace of sociology that accounts for much of our nation’s rising crime rate. And I ask you, where are the tales of the courageous battles fought by our national heroes — uncompromising freedom-fighters like Tom Flanagan?”

“Rest assured, this neglect of our past will not continue. When we in the Harper Government are finished, you won’t recognize the teaching of history in this country. Our Canadian story will be more than clean; it will be sanitized.”

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