Harper signs new right winger

28 Mar

While media attention was focused on the surprising trade of veteran Calgary Flames forward Jarome Iginla to the Pittsburg Penguins, Prime Minister Harper quietly increased his own team’s bench strength through the acquisition of junior prospect Martha Hall Findlay.

Hall Findlay, seen by many as Justin Trudeau’s only remaining rival for the federal Liberal Party leadership, is widely considered to be a promising right winger.

If additional proof of her Conservative cred were needed, it arrived just days ago as Hall Findlay forcefully declared that co-operation among political parties was not only unnecessary but also fundamentally “undemocratic”.

“That clinched it for me,” said Prime Minister Harper. “As you know, I’ve often warned Canadians about the dangers of unholy coalitions. Having Martha at my side gives me great comfort as I try to teach my second and third lines about the perils of actually speaking up for voters’ rights.”

Asked to comment on Hall Findlay’s unexpected move, Justin Trudeau said that he wished his former teammate every success.

“We in the federal Liberal Party have long considered my dear friend Martha to be an excellent, if untested, prospect. She wants to win at all costs, which makes her the right choice for the Tory franchise. I am confident that with the no-nonsense guidance of Coach Harper, she will quickly become the enforcer we always took her to be. And if I may say so, I also think her new hair-do is just fabulous.”

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2 Responses to “Harper signs new right winger”

  1. Melanie 28 March 2013 at 9:27 pm #

    Barry. This is brilliant.

    • Barry P 29 March 2013 at 4:13 pm #

      Really glad you enjoyed it, Melanie. Thanks for the kind remarks.

      Cheers,

      Barry

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